Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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