Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
