No, drunk sperm still make babies.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
