I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
