Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Randomize
