covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
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He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
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Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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