Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
