you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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