guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
