I want to make a zoo with you.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
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