you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
