Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
