He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
