girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
