im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
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i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
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i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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