We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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