What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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