I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I will be naked everywhere
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
