what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
