I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
