What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
