What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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