Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
