there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
