3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
