He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
she woke up with a sticky ear
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Randomize
