found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
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