He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
