I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
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