Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
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