i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
