At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Randomize
