I need help removing her.
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
That accounts for only three of the penises
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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