just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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