everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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