I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
This is classic penis vs brain.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
