I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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