is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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