Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
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You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
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It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize