I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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