just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Randomize
