I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
