Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
