Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Randomize
