The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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