And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Randomize
