Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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