oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize