she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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