Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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