my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Randomize
