Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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