$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize
