Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize