Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
Duck Duck Cougar?
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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