what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
