already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
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