I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
