every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
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