let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
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