So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
